Much of the stigma around self harm comes from the many myths and misconceptions that abound among professionals and the public alike about the reasons behind Self Harm. I remember as a student nurse in the early 1990s being fed these same myths by nursing and medical staff. The failure to see past our own perceived importance as professional ‘experts’ was rife and it led to some extremely damaging and cruel approaches to people who harm themselves.

Let’s look at some of the more common misconceptions. Perhaps one of the most common myths is to do with the notion of the ‘cry for help’. The idea is that by cutting or otherwise injuring themselves clients are trying to get some sort of assistance from services. If this is true then as professionals working in the field we need to ask ourselves some very difficult questions such as……

Do people really not know how to ask for help? If not – why not?

What sort of help can I offer them that is worth self-mutilation?

Am I really that special?

How good am I at noticing people’s distress if they need to resort to self-harm to get my attention?

What’s wrong with our access policies?  How good are my listening skills?

How ‘accessible’ am I if people can’t just talk to me and ask for what they want?

What does this say about me as a professional and as a person?

Another myth is that self-harm is an attempt to manipulate or emotionally blackmail professionals.

Do we really believe ourselves to be so important that people will mutilate themselves just to influence our thoughts, feelings and behaviours?

Is self-harm really all about us as professionals or is it more to do with the personal needs of the client? Then there is the good old ‘attention seeking’ myth. It doesn’t take a genius to work out how inaccurate such an assumption is likely to be when we understand that the vast majority of self-harm is done secretly and in private.

Contrary to popular belief, deliberate self-harm is not usually an attempt to manipulate others. Nor is it usually a ‘cry for help’. Most people are quite able to ask for help without self-harming and the secrecy that often accompanies self-harm demonstrates that something else is going on.